


A Gift

by in_motu_proprio



Series: World War May [7]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Big Decisions, Established Relationship, Explicit Sex, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Married Couple, May/Coulson - Freeform, Oral Sex, Rough Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-31
Updated: 2015-01-31
Packaged: 2018-03-09 20:55:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3264113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/in_motu_proprio/pseuds/in_motu_proprio
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A continuation of the World War May series.  </p><p>Meant to take place between season one and season two, a memory of May’s book ended by overhearing the conversation between two other agents.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Gift

**Present Day, The Playground**

**Melinda really didn’t need to listen to arguments right now. That was just what she was hearing over her comms, though. She was getting increasingly annoyed with her colleagues as Skye argued with Tripp about what he’d done. All Melinda wanted to do was shake her, but she remained quiet, listening to Skye berating Tripp for trading tech.**

**“I got it for you,” she heard Tripp hiss through the comm. Were these kids morons? Did they not realize that she could hear them, that everyone on comms right now could?**

**“But … you traded your grandfather’s compass, though.” Skye’s voice had a soft tremble in it and again May was struck with just how much she’d like to shake her. “I got you a case for it.”**

**Tripp paused, but Melinda could hear him thinking. He’d traded the compass for some computer hardware for Skye while Skye had traded the piece of tech that needed the hardware for a leather pouch for Tripp’s grandfather’s compass. These two just needed to get it over and screw already. Melinda watched her target move across the plaza, trying desperately to not recall a similar time in her life.**

****

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**Cape Charles, Virginia. 1993 ******

****“It’s something you’ve always wanted.” Melinda stared at Phil from where she stood, one brow raised. “Don’t think I don’t see you when we deal with kids in the field?” He shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot and did that look up through his eyelashes. How he did that when she was shorter than he was baffled May. “So this is something we need to talk about. Soon. You get that, right? I’m not a kid anymore, Phil.”** **

****“We both know how the conversation ends, so why have it?” His arms were crossed over his chest, wrinkling his suit through the chest. May loved Phil’s arms and the way the fabric was clinging to them right now. He always looked good in a suit. May moved over to him, to unfold Phil’s arms, needing to get through his defenses. She unbuttoned his jacket and slipped it off his shoulders, hanging it up over the back of the kitchen chair. Her hand rested in the middle of his back as she came around him, trailing behind with her fingertips. It was more contact to connect than to arouse. Phil always looked like she gut punched him when she tried to get him to talk about kids, but she felt like it was time.** **

****“Maybe we don’t know how the conversation ends.” Her brow quirked and Phil searched her face, trying to decide if she meant what he thought she meant. May didn’t even really know, but didn’t want him to head back to the office and then avoid her for a day or two like was typical when she pressed him. She’d given it a lot of thought over the years, but she’d never successfully gotten him to discuss having children after their first discussion about children. May hadn’t realized it at the time, but she’d destroyed him when she flat out refused.** **

****Phil pulled away from her and moved to the counter to fuss with the dirty dishes. “I’m not doing this again. Why do you keep bringing this up? We made the decision years ago.”** **

****“I made the decision,” May corrected.** **

****“Your body,” Phil agreed. “It’s not as though there were other choices.”** **

****“There are always other choices.” Her voice was soft as she leaned back against the wall. He started pacing and Melinda felt terrible. That didn’t stop her from pressing it, though.** **

****“What would you have me do? Surrogate? Or maybe adoption? Yes, they’re lining up to give a secret agent a kid. Or was I supposed to cheat on you? Tell me. Which of those ideas was I supposed to pursue?” May felt a little sick. He’d thought about it. Phil had really thought about it if he had three alternatives off the top of his head. It was the last one that hurt the most. She knew he’d never cheat on her, but that he thought about it, even if it was just for a second, it still hurt.** **

****“I’d only be out of commission for a year if we did this.” If he wasn’t going to have the discussion, she was going to make him. There was a certain window of time and she was getting to the middle of it. If they decided to go ahead, she didn’t want to be some 50 year old woman 9 months pregnant.** **

****“It doesn’t matter.” Phil paused in his pacing, wrapping his arms over his chest. He was hiding something. Melinda stared at him, trying her best to read him. Something was up.** **

****“What? Don’t lie to me either.” Phil’s eyes shifted and she crossed the room to him. “Philip John Coulson, what is it?”** **

****“It doesn’t matter.” She leaned forward and he stepped back a few. Good to know she could still intimidate him. “I had a vasectomy three years ago.” May felt like he’d just dropped a ton of bricks on her. She stepped back, trying to detect any tell that he might not be truthful. His posture had relaxed, his breathing had slowed… Phil was telling the truth.** **

****“Why would you do that? Why didn’t you tell me? Phil…” He held up his hand and May tried to ignore the knot in her throat threatening to choke her.** **

****“We decided,” May glared at him. “Fine, you decided. You want the responsibility, you take it.” _Finally,_ she thought. _Anger._ "You decided we weren’t having kids two years after we got married. I held out hope for a little while, but eventually enough was enough. It was too heavy. I had to lay it down.” Phil talked like that when he was overwhelmed and May tried hard to feel bad for him through the cloud of anger. “I didn’t come to you because you would have tried to stop me. I was tired of thinking about it. This made it not even a possibility and it’s better that way.” It was nice that he was trying to convince himself of that. She didn’t believe him for a second, but it was nice. ** **

****“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me right after.” May was genuinely hurt and all Phil could do was shrug. She hated that gesture. Indifference was worse than someone hating you in May’s book. And a shrug was the bodily equivalent of saying _meh_. She wasn’t having it from him. ** **

****“What would be the point? The decision was already made. You didn’t need to carry it around. And I didn’t need the guilt in case we slipped up. Or the pain if you decided to end it.” His arms wrapped around his chest again and May’s anger began to dissipate. While having an abortion wasn’t ever off the table for May, the pain it clearly caused him made her think that he could have swayed her to keep any child they made.** **

****“You don’t get to make that decision for me. You don’t get to carry it all, Phil.” May approached him and reached out a hand to rest on his folded arms. “You don’t have to.” He looked at her, eyes looking impossibly old as she unfolded his arms and stepped into his embrace. “You should have told me.”** **

****Phil just wrapped his arms around her a little tighter and tucked his chin in at the crown of her head. He had her locked into an embrace that lasted in silence for quite some time. Sometimes she just needed the closeness, the comfort of his strength. It didn’t make her weak or any less of a warrior. If anything, it made her fiercer because she had something worthwhile to fight for. She went into every fight telling herself that she had to live, had to keep going because she needed to get back to Phil. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.” She noted that he didn’t apologize. That was ok, she supposed. As much as not having a kid was her choice because it was her body, she supposed that deciding to get a vasectomy was a very similar thing.** **

****“I understand why you did it. I just wish you’d told me.” Melinda ran her hand down Phil’s back, rubbing through the back of his shirt. “Was it bad?” Melinda pulled back enough to look up at him.** **

****Phil shrugged. “Eh. It wasn’t pleasant, but it’s nowhere even close to the worst pain I’ve felt. It was tender, but … not bad.” He got that boyish grin he got when he was being naughty, “you could kiss it better. I mean, if you’re annoyed you missed the opportunity the first time.” May was glad to see that he had mirth back in his eyes.** **

****“Are you asking me to suck your balls?” Phil snorted and May found herself laughing at him and giving him a poke in the stomach.** **

****“I wouldn’t say no….” Phil’s hands moved down her back to cup May’s ass as he tried hard to waggle his brow. Phil mocking being sexy was actually kind of sexy. Plus, his palms were wide and warm where they pressed in against the blue cotton skirt she was wearing and that _was_ sexy. He cocked his head to the side as though asking permission before he leaned in to kiss her. It amused May that he’d thought to ask permission for kissing her, but not for grabbing her ass. But that was them in a nutshell. Phil’s hands moved up, one to her hip and the other to the back of her neck. Both of them were glad for the change of mood in the room. ** **

****It didn’t take long for them to end up on the couch, and May couldn’t honestly tell you who led whom. It had ended, however, when she straddled his lap and pinned his arms over his head. Phil gave her a little struggle, but Melinda squeezed hard with both her hands and her thighs, getting him to stop. “Stay still. You fidget too much.” She let go of his hands and Phil immediately brought them to her waist with a scoff. So much for her in his lap. He pulled her off of his lap and tossed her onto her back on the cushions, following her down after he’d pushed his hand up her skirt to her far… far upper thigh. His weight settling in against her was something that was so comfortable, so totally peace-inducing, that Melinda craved it when she was out in the field. For her, there was something about Phil laying against her like that that brought every crazy thought in her brain to a grinding halt.** **

****“You know I could still paralyze you from this position, right?”** **

****Phil leaned in and kissed her hard. “You could paralyze me from most positions, Melinda, but I trust you.” May’s heart fluttered in her chest. For a split second, she was sixteen again. It was their equivalent of saying _I love you_. It was easier for both of them to say and, honestly, _I trust you_ meant more to May than _I love you_ ever would. ** **

****Her fingers traced his jaw as she leaned up for a kiss. “Ditto.” Her thumb brushed over his brow and Phil’s eyes drifted shut as he turned his face into her hand. He kissed the inside of her palm, giving the mound of her thumb an almost kneading suck. Shivers ran through May’s body and she hitched her thigh up higher on his hip to reward them both for being so damn hot together. She hadn’t forgotten that he’d undergone surgery that changed their lives without consulting her, but since it ended up being the result she wanted, Melinda wasn’t really in a place to argue. Plus, she really didn’t want to. She was just coming off a three month undercover operation and the two of them had barely had a week together.** **

****“You look warm. Are you warm?” Phil continued his patter while he stripped May’s top off. She was gratified to see his expression when he pulled it off of her, surprised to find her braless. He made an appreciative sound in his throat and shifted closer. May could feel his cock filling out through his pants and shifted her hips to move against him. “I believe we discussed you and my balls at some point.” May pinched him hard but shoved him off and stood in front of him. Phil’s hand trailed from the side of her breast to her waist, pausing there before trailing over the thin cotton covering her all the way down her leg. He left a trail of individual nerve endings screaming for more with just his fingertips.** **

****“You are fortunate that I like you, Phil. Very, very fortunate.” Phil nodded, trying hard to look solemn but his eyes gave him away. Melinda made him stand and had him naked in less than a minute. “I’m not straining my neck. Lean against the back of the sofa.” He followed her instructions, trying hard not to rush, but failing miserably. Sometimes it was good for May to know that he had as much trouble containing himself as she did. There was comfort in knowing it wasn’t just her who would burn the world for him, but he wouldn’t hesitate to do the same. Melinda kissed his shoulder where he’d taken a bullet for her in Ukraine. Her lips trailed down over his arm as her hands stroked his cock. Phil’s hands stroked over her back, playing with the waistband of her underpants as she moved down. Eventually he had to just lean back, and May hit her knees.** **

****Phil was a sucker for her mouth and May used it to her advantage whenever and however she could. “Nervous,” she asked as a tremor went through his thighs. She got a little tap to the forehead for the joke. They both knew damn well that his thighs weren’t trembling from nerves. Phil was aching to get her mouth and May was putting it everywhere but where he actually wanted it. They both knew that there were bragging rights involved and neither wanted to be the one to give in. So May continued to use her mouth on his thighs and Phil continued to grip the back of the sofa hard enough to strain the stitches on the cushion. “Don’t rip the couch.” Being slightly bitchy was usually what worked and this time was no exception.** **

****Wide, thick fingers closed at the back of her skull and May’s eyes closed with triumph. She won. Well, really, they both did because Phil used one hand to hold back of her head and the other to guide the head of his cock against her lips. May looked up, one brow raised, and opened her lips for him. Phil swore when he was like this. Some people forgot that S.H.I.E.L.D. was paramilitary and that Phil Coulson was a lifer. “Missed you.” Melinda’s face softened a little bit. Phil was sentimental, but he also had a really strange sense of romantic timing. She put that aside, though, and wrapped her mouth around the head of his cock. She didn’t suck, just used her lips to pop on and off the head, the tight o of her mouth making obscene popping sounds when she came back. Melinda’s hands weren’t idle, one kneaded Phil’s thigh and the other cupped his balls.** **

****She’d given him many, many blow jobs in the time between his surgery and today, but she’d never noticed a difference. Melinda was mad at him, but she was also mad at herself for missing it. There had to be a scar. There had to be something different. Her lips moved down the length of him along the side, the wide swath of her tongue pressed in firmly against the skin as she moved up and down. Phil’s head tilted back and he sighed, making a sound like this wasn’t just sex, but a comfort. She knew the feeling. It was how she’d felt earlier when he settled in against her. It was that moment of homecoming. “Melinda,” Phil gasped softly as her mouth finally took one heavy ball in her mouth. So it wasn’t her favorite thing to do, but Phil loved it. That made her fonder and fonder of the act over the years until she’d learned to take a fair bit of pleasure from his enjoyment.** **

****That was what it was like when you were together this long, though. You were able to develop an interest in what your partner loved and sometimes he did the same. Phil hadn’t ever let anyone touch his ass before her. Now it wasn’t like he was bending over and taking it, but if she used her finger a little or gave him a lick, he appreciated the sensation. May hummed around his ball, giving it a tug with her tight lips before letting it pop out. Phil was watching her like a hawk, considering every expression in that annoyingly accurate way he did. Of course since he was seeing it through the haze of arousal, Phil was more focused on sensation than visuals at the moment. “Love your mouth.” Melinda wrapped it around his other ball and used her fingertip to stroke firmly behind. She drug the tip of her finger up to circle his hole then come back again.** **

****Melinda had him rocking and cursing before she pulled back, licking her swollen bottom lip. “Desk?”** **

****“Desk,” Phil agreed. In the corner of their living room sat an old steel desk, heavy and exactly the right height for them Over the years it had moved from his first office to every apartment they’d had. It was ugly, heavy gray steel, but there were a lot of memories in that cheap formica top. Phil held a pillow over the edge, something to cushion her bottom and her back. May appreciated it because, while the desk was the right height, it was also a desk and did not have a curved edge where her tailbone tended to rub. They were old hat at the desk, Phil holding the pillow while Melinda settled down. He took a moment to kiss her, strong hands at her waist pulling her closer and hitching one of her legs up. May sometimes wondered if it made her less of a feminist that she enjoyed Phil throwing her around. Even if it did, she wasn’t going to change things because it really got her going.** **

****He kissed her and pulled her close, pressing into her slowly. He rubbed her clit with his thumb as he pushed in, gasping at the way May’s body devoured him. No fingering and no oral for her meant that May was way tighter than usual. That didn’t mean she wasn’t wet. In fact, the sound of him pushing into her was positively pornographic. She relaxed and let him inside, but while she’d bitch about it to his face, she was actually glad he was taking his time. She let out a gasp and he paused, checking to see that she was alright. “Fine,” she told him, stroking his face with her fingertips. Melinda angled her hips down to take more, opening up on him slowly. She watched Phil’s face, seeing the war waging there. He wanted to just fuck her, and that was flattering as hell. Phil, however, was too much of a gentleman to get too rough right off the bat. Unless he’d taken his time getting her ready, Phil was slow going at first. “Just fuck me, Phil.” She grabbed his face between her thumb and fingers, making him look her in the eye. “Now. Hard.”** **

****Phil pecked her lips quickly before complying. Soon enough the bumper pads Phil had installed behind the desk came in handy. He was fucking her hard, making her hips pull up off of the desk with hard rolls as it shifted against the carpet. Her husband’s thumb rested above her clit, pulling the skin taut so that her own body was rubbing against the long column of nerves inside her body as she moved. Phil had her harder, pulling her hips off the end of the desk and hitching her legs up higher. It let May angle her hips this way or that, and soon, once he started the thumb and finger thing he did on her clit, Melinda was cumming around him. Phil was relentless with his pursuit of her orgasm. He kept her going, on the edge and falling over it until she batted his hand away. “… you… what about you,” May panted, her head coming up off the desk to look at him. Phil nodded and went to withdraw.** **

****This was where it could get weird, May thought as she gripped his hip. It wasn’t like he hadn’t cum inside her before. They’d been married for five years now, so it had happened. Typically, though, they were careful. She was on birth control and he pulled out almost every time or used a condom when they didn’t want to bother with pulling out. This time, though, he was bare and thrusting inside her hard. Children weren’t a problem now that he’d made his choice, so May held him there, gripping his hip and nodding. He opened his mouth to question, but she grabbed his hip and squeezed. “Cum in me.” She’d bet that Phil was not going to look a gift horse in the mouth, and he didn't. It took moments for her to feel him go off inside her with a deep groan. Melinda used her body to squeeze every drop out of him, riding down against him until they were both panting and shuddering.** **

****Phi collapsed on top of her, holding most of his weight on one forearm, but giving her that comforting press again. She sighed into his hair, rustling the sweaty strands and making him shiver. Her fingers played with his hair then down the back of his neck. She felt him smile against her shoulder as his thumb ran over her hipbone. This was good. They were good. It was a relief that they both felt as he slowly softened inside her, waiting as long as he could before leaving her body. _Always a gentleman,_ May thought as he paused to bring his undershirt between her legs before she stood, cleaning her up just a little. He must have made a big mess from how long he took to clean her up, and the fact that he used his mouth for a good, long, incredibly sexy part of it. When she’d had another, admittedly lazy orgasm and was flying high, Phil picked her up and carried her down the hall. Once more she worried that the way her heart pounded at that meant she was a bad feminist, but screw it. She was happy and that was all too rare. ** **

****

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**Present Day, The Playground**

**Phil’s hand on her shoulder made Melinda jump a mile. He got that curiously amused look on his face and she had the urge to smack it off. Instead she listened as he gently told the two junior agents that everyone could hear their debate. Two abrupt ‘sorry’s later, the air on the comms went dead and she was left with him standing very close. May’s pulse pounded, her hands tightened. “He’s not going anywhere,” Phil said as he nodded at the monitor. “You need a break. Come on. Let me buy you dinner.” By _buy you dinner_ , Phil meant that he’d cook something for her. He wasn’t a great cook, but it was better than having to do it herself. “I haven’t eaten yet either.” Her pulse sped a little more. Was he asking her to dinner? Why did that still thrill her so much when he was clearly done with her romantically? And even if he did want her, could May really let herself? Could she give up all those years of discipline and fall into her ex-husband’s arms? As May walked down the corridor next to Phil, listening to him relay some nonsense about a replica of Captain America’s shield he had his eyes on, she found herself filled with hope at the idea.**


End file.
